move your body!

April 21st I ran my first certified race!
I’ve been trying to get into a regular exercise routine lately, as it is so crucial for health and anyone that wants to thrive, and I’ve been feeling a lot better since I’ve started moving my ass. I’ve always really enjoyed cycling (people use to recognize me in my home town as the crazy road biker who was honked at by their bus on the way to school, and even now Adam fears for my life when I’m riding in traffic haha) but never really for fitness- more because I love the movement, self sufficiency, and rush. So I’ve really started exploring the ways in which you can push and train your body, and started with running. This past season has been one of  hardest winters I’ve had yet, and there were days when all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball in the warmth of my bed and sleep the day away.. but instead forced myself (with perhaps more than a little bit of help from my man) to get moving, drink a litre of water and deep breath- and instantly felt euphoric (try it, I promise it will revive you).  Adam and I have been members of Community Care in our area for about a year or so, and every Spring they put together a fundraiser race, certified and supported by the Running Room. This year we decided to start training in the winter for the 5km, through sprinting shorter distances (3-5km) and longer runs like 10km. I could have done quite a few more sessions to prepare my body, but I am amazed at what I have been able to do in such a short time. When I first timed myself on the treadmill a few months ago, I finished 5 kilometers in 31ish minutes (tried to keep it under Adams 32 minute suggestion, for a very beginner runner) and could hardly breathe as it was such a challenge for my wintering body. We then started to run solely outside because the temperature was much more forgiving (I cannot run inside anymore, I’m addicted to fresh air), and within 10-12 runs we had both greatly improved our time.
I finished at 26:26 which I am very proud of since it is my personal best, I finished 34^th out of over 100 people, 8/80 for my sex, and 3/20 for my age group – and I felt so amazing! I can’t wait to enter my next race, keep running and hopefully in the near future enter the half-marathon. If you have any interest in running, and have never partaken in even a small race, I highly recommend it. The excitement and adrenalin rush you experience that helps you push through the cold or unfortunate hills is awesome, and if you’re lucky enough to finish with a downward slope, you can fly like a gazelle and sprint to the finish line while they announce your arrival, and feel like a superstar! Haha such an awesome day!!
And the entire time I didn’t think about my little tumor in my neck, except to hope that I was pumping the shit out of it with pure oxygen as I inhaled deeply and worked my lymphatic system.

is your shower a chlorine gas chamber?

When beginning research for ways to lessen my toxic load and protect from further damage, I came across several sources that brought to my attention the risk of ingesting chlorinated city water. I haven’t been consuming tap water since I spent a summer living on well when I was on Vancouver Island, free of chlorine and fluoride- back in Ontario we are supplied through the city, but luckily have access to a water depot where we rotate between reverse osmosis filtration and spring to hydrate our cells. However, what I hadn’t put any thought towards was the water used to bathe. As it turns out, chlorinated shower water poses an extreme health risk on both our external and internal.
There has been research conducted to determine potential effects on the human body, and several studies point towards chlorinated drinking water as a contributor to an increase in cancer (specifically bladder, rectal, and breast), as well as asthma, bronchitis, skin conditions, and imbalances in gut flora. Chlorine used within water treatment combines with organic matter, which then forms THMs (trihalomethanes). One of the most common and well known THM produced is chloroform, which is a known carcinogenic. The reason why showering dramatically increases your exposure and risk of negative health effects is due to the way that it enters your system. Considering that the skin is our largest organ, and what you put onto it (cosmetics, perfumes, deodorant, creams, etc.) immediately gets absorbed into the blood stream; chemicals in shower water are no different. Skin also breathes as pores adapt to changes in temperature when bathing, allowing for greater absorption- just like a sponge!
Long, hot showers are capable of exposing one to more toxic chemicals within tap water, than drinking does. Because the chemicals evaporate due to the heat, they become vapour that is easily inhaled into the lungs and then directly into the bloodstream- your shower becomes a chlorine gas chamber. The chemical laced shower steam can also be inhaled by other people in your house, as secondary exposure.
I read somewhere (cannot find the source again anywhere, sorry!) that with a 10 minute shower, you take more chlorine into your body through your skin, than drinking 8 glasses of the same water- that is insane! I also found that flourine, bromine and chlorine (common compounds found in hot tubs, pools and municipal water) can cause a lot of damage to the thyroid gland! I have had 23 years of chlorine exposure, not to mention the time I spent in the pool, but I am very thankful this information was brought to my attention so I can stop further intake of toxic water.
A few months ago I purchased a shower filter from the local health shop, that contains several layers including activated carbon, to filter out sediment and particulates, heavy metals, and chlorine. It lasts on average 8 months, depending on shower use, and costs around $40. There are many different styles available, the one I picked up is simple, and can be placed right in place with your water line. I haven’t yet noticed any changes in the dryness of my skin or hair, but I am very thankful I have been able to take action to cease washing my body in chemicals. If you wouldn’t drink toxic water, you should definitely look into the water you bathe in!

Benefits of Wheatgrass!

The restoration and detoxification properties of Wheatgrass have been used extensively for healing the human body of chronic diseases and other ailments. It has apparently even been used to restore the sex hormones of infertile cows in the Midwest! Wheatgrass juice is extremely high in chlorophyll (which has a very similar structure to hemoglobin which carries oxygen in the blood), in fact 70% by mass, and it contains over 100 elements and 92 minerals useful to the body- including B17 (also known as laetrile, said to destroy cancer cells). It is extremely rich in vitamins and minerals that are claimed to be hard to obtain on a veg/an diet such as B12, B2, zinc, iron, and protein. Wheatgrass has been uncovered as an extremely powerful antioxidant due to its chlorophyll content which neutralizes toxins in the body, cleanses the liver and oxygenates the blood. It has even been shown to act as a powerful tool in fighting tumors, stimulating the thyroid gland, lessening the effects of radiation, and can also restore alkalinity to bodily fluids (according to the Hippocrates Health Institute). Wheatgrass has beneficial enzymes which are the driving forces of healing and almost every biochemical reaction in the human body, making it advantageous in rejuvenating cells to slow the ageing process, speed up recovery and soothe a wide range of topical skin conditions. When grown and kept indoors (organically), it has been said that this amazing grass can purify and add oxygen to the air!
Ann Wigmore reportedly treated and cured many people with terminal cancer and other chronic illnesses in the 70’s, using freshly juiced wheatgrass as part of therapy- she later founded the Hippocrates Institute which acknowledges and utilizes the benefits of this grass. Wheatgrass can also be taken internally, as an enema or implant which cleanses the colon (one of our most vital elimination organs) and results in the absorption of nutrients into the body through the hemorrhoidal vein (direct route to the liver). The juice adds oxygen to the blood, and aids in the ridding of accumulated toxins and waste through nourishment of the liver. This is also a great way to integrate this grass into one’s healing for those who may be sensitive to the juice on the palate, stomach or digestive system; allowing immediate replenishment.
I have started to grow wheatgrass organically at home- it’s so easy and economical! I have a blog with my partner where you can find a continuation of this post, with instructions on growing and juicing:

How to grow and juice your own wheatgrass – cleansing and strengthening

Updates on juicing

Today will mark the end of the 10 day juice feast! I have to admit though, that I didn’t quite make it.. towards the end of the 7th day, we had a bunch of friends over for a vegan potluck. I searched around for some ripe organic pineapple that I could juice during the gathering, to keep me satiated and blissed out (that is how you feel on juice), but unfortunately had no luck. I sipped carrot blood, greeting chilly guests with an orange moustache, and held my ground as the aromas wafted towards my heightened sense of  smell. It was all going just awesome, most dishes were cooked so I wanted to stay away anyways, but then the half-raw vegan pumpkin pie arrived (see where this is going?) I allowed myself one spoonful and that was it, my gateway drug into an evening of indulgence. It was definitely an improper way to break a ‘fast’, especially with all the fat and spices, but I didn’t feel mentally or physically different- just a bit bloated. The next morning however, I started to become aware of the effects; I woke up feeling as though I had stayed up into the daylight hours drinking. But for some reason I didn’t start my day off with a cleansing juice while everyone else ate toast and peanut butter, I turned to solid acidifying food and that choice created a downward spiral. I have been struggling to consciously bring myself back to juicing or at least create more of a balance, but have found it extremely difficult. It’s as though my heightened senses became so overloaded with the savoury, serotonin release of the fats and salts, they haven’t been as enticed by the vibrancy spectrum (there’s a definite emotional attachment to food that I need to let go of).
And so these past few days I have not been feeling my best. I feel mentally and physically fatigued, bloated and just generally down- however, the upside is that I have had a chance to really observe how my body reacts and feels when I succumb to my emotional tie to cooked/fatty foods, and also become aware of the changes I experienced through the 7 days of drinking pure juice.
As soon as I begin to consume a cooked meal, regardless of added fats, I start to feel drowsy and less alert. My emotional state begins to change not only because of my own self judgement for ‘being weak and giving in’, but also because of the mental fog I experience. I become very moody and sensitive to words, and will often seek refuge in my bed. This is not what food is suppose to do to you!
What I also noticed too, is that returning to my regular fruit smoothie for breakfast, or even whole fruit during the day, created a weighted feeling as well, as if I was suddenly noticing the simplicity and benefits of juicing through polar opposites. I can’t quite explain what it feels like to get going into the liquid feast. The first few days are the hardest but as you continue to conquer each day, you are so far away from your start that it becomes easier to keep going. Through the first and second days I experienced a lot of cravings for juicy, solid fruits as I began detoxing from water weight and excess sodium, but as I got a better handle on creating tasty concoctions I came to feel more satisfied. By day 6 I felt a lot more mental clarity and confidence to socialize at outings, and noticed that my complexion was improving. Over the 7 days, despite no noticeable weight loss, I felt slim and increasingly comfortable in my skin. Unfortunately, all this was reversed as soon as I began eating heavy, solid foods again- so interesting to observe how what we put into our bodies can affect us!
Instead of getting angry at myself for not achieving my goals, I am going to use the downs as an opportunity to grow. I am resuming juicing tomorrow to get back on track and so I can do this properly, I’m not going to set any time frame to meet- I am simply going to listen to my body and feel out the experience with a clear head.
I didn’t do enemas as often as I wanted (saving that experience for another blog on its own haha), consumed a bit too much fruit juice and too little water, little exercise, and wasn’t very on-going with wheatgrass and detox helpers- so I will make some changes to better support the process. I can’t wait to start loving my body fully again, and feel the high of feeding it pure chlorophyll!
Back on track begins tomorrow; releasing guilt, letting go of pressure of self-expectation, practising balance and consistency.

=)

Day 2

Starting off yesterday was relatively easy.. I had a rest day and drank around 3L of juice. In the evening I had a terrible headache, but woke up feeling refreshed. Today my bowels sound like they are raging war! hahaha It’s as if my insides are shooting off bazookas aimed at all the stagnant matter that shouldn’t be there- I’m looking around for an enema bag to step this up a notch, which should be fun………
I’ve consumed a bit more juice today, around 4L, and I’ve realized that I am going to need a larger, more continuous supply of produce than I thought. I’ve got enough for the next few days, but greens disappear so fast.
Right now I’m stocked up with 2 red cabbage, 1 green cabbage, 2 large bags of carrots, 2 bunches of parsley, 2 bags of oranges, 1 bag of lemons, 1 bag of grapefruit, 2 romaine heads, 1 bunch of collards, limes, tomatoes, 1 bag of pears, 2 bags of gala apples, cantaloup,  1 head of broccoli, 1 bag of granny smith, ginger, 2 bags of beets, 1 head of chard, 2 papaya, 1 celery bunch, yellow onions, 1 cucumber, spinach, 1 pepper, 1 zucchini, 2 pineapple, 1 bag of kiwi, and daily supply of wheatgrass (everything is organic).
I’ve found that orange juice really hits the spot. When I have a craving or experience intense momentary hunger, I can have instantly fresh squeezed o.j with my manual hand juicer; it is going to save my life. What I have also noticed is how amazing any solid fruits and vegetables look to me, I don’t crave cooked foods what so ever. I just want to shove kiwis and raspberries and bananas into my mouth.. definitely going through banana withdrawal. We’re going for a walk soon and get a few minutes of vitamin D at the tanning place since it has been so cloudy here lately.
Tomorrow we are headed to Toronto for the meeting with the surgeon/cancer specialist, so we’re going to have to get up at sunrise and make our daily sustenance of fuel. I feel light about the appointment tomorrow, is it strange I’m not taking it too heavily? Doctors (at least all the one’s I have dealt with) have no background in nutrition at all, making it hard to take them seriously when they advise you to go with their suggestions of ‘slash and burn’ the body. This will be my last meeting with specifically a medical doctor in a while; if I look at the threat of illness and want to deal with revival of health in a completely opposite way, I think it’s time I surround myself solely with those that support that process. I’ll be bringing a list of questions to discuss with this specialist, much like the last, but I am not too expecting of the outcome. I think I can handle being told yet again to cut out my internal body parts, but if he has any new speculations on a final diagnosis I think that’s what will make my heart heavy. We’ll see.

he’s trying to steal my chlorophyll…

 

Journey into a 10 day juice FEAST- day 1

What is a juice feast? Well, it pretty much means that one omits solid food and feasts on fresh, living juices (making sure to get enough calories throughout the day through unlimited supply). When you limit your intake to juice, something amazing happens.. you begin to repair. Since juices require almost no effort to assimilate, you take things a step further than eating raw foods as your body doesn’t have to put any energy into digestion of fibre/cellulose. The nutrients and thousands of phytochemicals (known to reverse disease) are efficiently absorbed, without much work, into the blood stream to reach the body on a cellular level. You are also able to consume many more lbs of fruits and vegetables through juicing, than you would if you ate them whole. Here is a quote from a womyn who is now an advocate of raw foods and juicing, following a 92 day juice feast that reversed her obesity;
“By consuming only liquids, which are absorbed directly into our system, we give the body a huge energy break from digesting foods. It can then use that saved energy to clean out old matter, especially from the small intestine. The average person holds 5-10lbs of toxic old matter in their intestines, and Feasting is an ideal way to release it, giving the body a phenomenal chance to rejuvenate and restore. Far from being a time of ‘deprivation’, this extraordinary healing programme is an experience of abundance and massive nutritional intake…we lose weight, skin becomes radiantly healthy, illnesses are healed, scar tissue rejuvenates, and we detox our whole system on a massive scale.” – Angela Stokes
Adam and I watched the amazing documentary ‘Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead’ in the summer, which sparked our raw food challenge. It follows the journey of a man who used juice feasting to achieve a healthy weight, remove all his previous medications, and cure all ailments he suffered (including a rare skin condition that modern medicine deemed as incurable). Along the way he happens to cross paths with a very unhealthy, obese truck driver who (un)lives on fried and processed foods, and coffee as his liquids- who has the same rare skin condition. This man also begins a juice feast that saves his life; repairing his heart disease, skin problems and all other health issues.
Juice feasting imprints upon every organ and system in the body including the immune system, liver, blood, endocrine, lymphatic, skin, etc. I have read that the longer you give the body a rest, the deeper into cleaning, detoxification and healing it embarks- so I have set a goal of 10 days for myself. I tried a juice feast last year but was travelling to Toronto for the Occupy movement, away from a juicer, so if I succeed this will be a brand new personal accomplishment in taking responsibility for my health. I am going to start off each day with 1L of springwater with lemon, and  include our home-grown wheatgrass. I am going to continue using vitamineral greens powder, zeolite and bentonite clay (for removal of toxins) into the regime of juicing, as well as herbal teas that purify the blood/liver and enemas when needed.
I am very excited to see what will happen over the next 10 (or more?) days, feeling like this is a very important step into refreshing my immunity and body healing. Having already incorporating juices at least once daily since the beginning of December, I know I can do this but am also aware that it will not be without challenges. This is day one.

Here are some links to awesome juice feasting information:
http://www.naturalnews.com/022368_juice_Feasting_disease.html
http://www.juicefeasting.com/Home/tabid/36/Default.aspx
http://www.juicing-for-health.com/benefits-of-juice-fast.html
http://www.vibealive.ca/juice-feasting/

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead:
http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/

My arsenal

The easiest and most powerful influence anyone can have towards their health and well-being is through what they put into their body. I have long been aware of the endless benefits of a plant based, high raw diet (specifically high carb, low fat & protein- 80/10/10 ratio) which include proper hydration, weight loss (attaining natural body weight), improved digestion, assimilation, and elimination, natural hygiene, boundless energy, clearing of acne and skin conditions. It has even been known to reverse type 2 diabetes, heart disease and aid in countless other conditions. Eating food that is designed for the human body to eat and utilize, and in the state that the earth provides (ie. whole form, uncooked and unprocessed) makes mountains of sense- fruits and vegetables are also alkaline forming, meaning they promote an alkaline pH condition within the body. If the body is too acidic (which is a major result of the Western SAD diet), acute and chronic degenerative diseases can result. Greens are also extremely oxygenating; consuming dark leafy vegetables is virtually taking in liquid oxygen and sunshine. Raw food also has all of the vital nutrients and enzymes in tact because they have not been damaged due to heat, therefore greatly reducing the stress on our digestive system because all that is needed to assimilate the food, is in the food. Enzymes are very important for all actions carried out inside the body, and when we do not have to use our reserve or energy towards breaking down what we eat, we are able to put it to use in other areas- such as healing . Raw plant foods promote life and vibrancy, because you are eating food that is alive!
This is why this is the number one ammo on my cancer ridding list. The less I burden my system through what I put in my mouth, the more time and energy my body and immune system has to focus on being well- with the help of the abundance of vitamins and minerals I am consuming. I am also going to work on total body detoxification, immune system support and reversing any deficiencies. The Gerson Institute and several other alternative therapies have healed countless people through proper diet and juicing, detox and nutritional supplementation, and Ann Wigmore reversed disease in many people through her whole foods and wheatgrass regime so I feel strongly and intuitively that they are vital components to my own healing arsenal. This is what I have come up with so far;

Diet & lifestyle

• 100% raw diet, low fat & protein intake (80/10/10) as organic as possible (save for occasional steamed asparagus, broccoli or potatoes when fruit supply is low)
• very heavy juicing/juice feasting
• consumption of ginger, tumeric and other cancer fighting plants
• eliminate all salt except naturally occurring in vegetables
• eliminate all overt fat/oil
• daily consumption of home-grown organic wheatgrasss
• consumption of spring water (free of  chlorine and fluoride)
• weekly exposure to vitamin D through tanning/sun
• daily exercise whether yoga, cardio, walking, aerobics, etc.
• reishi decoctions and other anti-cancer mushrooms
• daily positive affirmations
• laughter therapy
• connecting to nature and my wild self
• appricot kernels daily for vitamin B17 (laetrile)

Detoxification

• raw greens powder and zeolite to chelate heavy metals and toxins
• full body detoxification and support for vital organs/systems through the use of herbs and other means
• installation of water filter for removal of chlorine in shower
• skin brushing
• wheatgrass and coffee enemas
• 1L of water upon waking with lemon juice
• Essiac tea

Immune support

• rebounding to stimulate the lymphatic system
• sufficient sleep and relaxation
• stress release and deep oxygenated breathing
• grape seed oil tincture for antioxidants (and others)
• IV vitamin C therapy
• infrared saunas

Thyroid support

• iodine supplementation
• thyroid castor oil poultice

I am going to seek out a Nutritionist/Naturopathic Doctor who supports me and will guide this process of boosting my immune system and releasing toxins. I am also open to anything else that crosses my path, and will continuously do research and reassure myself just how powerful our bodies are- more than we have ever been lead to believe =)

Three- second opinion

Although I felt pretty good after the meeting with the ENT, the appointment I had with my family doctor in Courtice left me terrified.
My mum went with me yesterday to talk about the results for a second opinion and he was actually very concerned with my extremely high levels of thyroglobulin, those that the surgeon sort of shrugged off. He told me that a benign nodule could interfere with hormone production, but also that cancer can produce high levels too. If I was his daughter, as he worded it, he would send me to a great surgeon/cancer specialist in Toronto at St. Margaret’s hospital to further assess my pathology report from the biopsy, and further converse about surgery- because if it is cancer, this is definitely nothing to fuck around with.
I could feel tears of fear welling up again, but I tried to keep my composure to ask him a few questions. As it turned out, his opinion was very much the same as the ENT (perhaps this is because they are a part of the same multi-billion dollar system that does not dabble in whole body healing or nutrition- which is in fact what our bodies operate on). He also believed it was too late to do anything through diet/lifestyle and that I shouldn’t worry about doing anything right now until I get into see the specialist in a few weeks. Really? No harmless suggestion to get more sleep, stress less, eat more vegetables, get fresh air, take vitamin C, or stay away from junk?  What I can’t get out of my head is that every doctor I’ve ever spoken to, has never asked about my background, what I eat (they don’t know I’m Vegan), whether I work around chemicals, how much exercise I get, etc, so it’s really hard to take their advice when they look and treat the individual parts of just the physical body. This doctor actually pleaded for me to stay away from the natural routes- whaa? They are of higher authority in society somehow, because they have degrees in something, but how can they answer for the alternative side of things? Especially when they are told to discourage and put down anything else?
So I left feeling worse, but when I asked myself why I didn’t really have an answer. Sure he was very concerned with the threat of cancer because my pathology didn’t specifically come back as benign, and he doesn’t believe in the power of the body and living foods- but I do. And I have witnessed and felt the infinite amazingness of nature and living close to a natural state- on both spiritual and physical well-being. I’ve done the research into how thousands and thousands of people are being healed of degenerative diseases such as cancer, MS and heart disease through raw foods. The Gerson Institute treats people using fresh, organic juices and coffee enemas with undeniably incredible results, for even terminal cancer patients. Sadly despite these successes , the medical industry puts it down when brought up and will not invest in further research that may save lives.
To me, boosting the immune system makes the most sense. Oxygenating your cells and alkalizing the body through greens and living foods, exercising and utilizing other stress reducing/white blood cell stimulating therapies known to be useful in cancer, detoxifying  and reversing any potential deficiencies- it doesn’t add up to me that this could not have a positive, healing effect on the human body.
We already hold, within ourselves, the tools needed to heal- we just need to support and unlock them!

Two- results from ENT

I went in for my biopsy a week or two before Christmas, a little shaky. I wanted Adam to come in with me in case they missed and stabbed my trachea, but he was asked to stay outside. Inside the dimly lit room, the nurse had me lie down next to an ultra sound machine, where she took measurements of the mass living inside my thyroid, and the location; the Doctor followed the guided imaging with the needle. She went in three separate times, each about 30 seconds, and each time as equally unnerving. I felt some pain but the worst part was the pressure I felt on my windpipe, almost as if I was going to be choked out.
The ENT that I met with before, called when they had the results but there wasn’t an opening for an appointment so he was nice enough to do a consult over the phone so I could put my mind at rest before the holidays. He informed me the results came back as ‘Follicular Neoplasm’ which indicated the characteristic of the cells, but unfortunately didn’t state whether this tumour is benign or malignant. I was particularly worried that I would have andoplastic carcinoma thyroid cancer, but he assured me that this didn’t look like this at all; I would have to have specific characteristics. He did however, tell me that I had some things that were familiar of medullary cancer, which account for 3% of all thyroid cancers- this is also one that is most often genetic. To figure out whether this is what I have, he ordered a blood test that would check for elevated levels of a hormone called calcitonin- high levels would indicate the tumour was producing them, and I would be diagnosed with medullary. The test also looked at my levels of calcium that are affected by calcitonin, thyroglobulin, and two other thyroid hormones. The results wouldn’t be in until my appointment on January 4th. Between then and now I have redirected the intent of my research and have watched countless successful natural healing stories, read about alternative treatments, the role eating a clean diet plays, and written down all potential components of an ass kicking cancer plan- just in case. Enabling myself with confidence and ammo on activating my body’s innate ability to heal has helped me to not only divert insanity, but also remind myself of the infinite healing bounty in nature- not whatever this Doctor was going to tell me and suggest.
So a few days ago I went to find out if I had medullary cancer. My mum, dad, sister and my love all came for support. Adam and I watched ‘Food Matters’ the night before, to arm ourselves with refreshed knowledge about nutrition and compile a list of questions to ask to debunk statistics and for the next step, if it had to come to it. While in the waiting room my stomach took over and I almost couldn’t concentrate due to the intense nervous pains, but luckily I brought in a massive mason jar full of steaming Peppermint & Reishi tea which worked wonders to soothe my anxiety and tummy aches.
The Doctor himself called us in, and the sick feeling in my stomach was ten folds more intense than what I experience when waiting to be called on for a presentation in college. As we sat down, he didn’t smile even a little which sure doesn’t help the situation. He explained that he observed my results and that my calcitonin levels were actually normal! In fact, all tested hormones were, except for thyroglobulin which was waaay high but stated didn’t mean anything and was probably just being overly-produced by the little mass of cells in my neck.
Despite still not knowing for sure, and with the possibility of it being non-cancerous, the Doctor still suggested that I go ahead with surgery to remove half of my thyroid because of the size and my current age. They would then be able to assess then what the mass was made of, and whether further surgery would have to take place.
I asked the Dr. if my body had any defense in reversing mutated cells, since we live with cancer cells everyday and it is the job of our immune systems to fight them off, and he flat out stated no. He believes that diet and lifestyle/anti-cancer foods play a role in prevention, but are ineffective once cancer is diagnosed. I asked him whether or not it would help if I uncovered and reversed a deficiency that may be causing the thyroid nodule, such as iodine, in reversal and he felt this was useless; he told me that in north America, we have plenty of iodine in our diet, especially with iodized table salt. Unfortunately though, I don’t eat iodized salt and our quality of soil in which we grow food is so depleted, thyroid problems are a very common ailment as a result. I told him that I was vegan so to me it seemed smart to check levels anyways through a blood tests to indicate whether I was lacking in anything that would create an imbalance or burden for my body, and he was very reluctant. He blurted out that since I’m vegan what I need to worry about is getting too much protein (HA! I guess that’s what you get for never taking any courses in nutrition) and he couldn’t understand why any of this would matter, since I already have a mass growing. He believes that there is virtually nothing that nature nor my body can do to take care of this foreign invader (which isn’t really foreign since it would just be my own cells that went haywire.. but due to SOMETHING).
However, since we’ve pretty much ruled out the two aggressive types and there is no guarantee that it is cancer, he did agree that I could take some time to get a few second opinions and weigh my options. He did leave me with one last piece of information though, which I guess is suppose to put my mind at rest for why my defenses are virtually useless in his eyes- that sometimes cancer just happens out of “bad luck”… Even though The China Study (the most comprehensive study of nutrition ever conducted in human history) proved that there is a scientifically backed, direct and undeniable correlation between environmental/diet and lifestyle and the occurrence of cancer and heart disease. In fact, only a very small percent of cancers and degenerative disease is attributed to genetics- and even then, the gene has to be turned on through poor lifestyle choices.
I have a few problems with how this meeting went, if I go ahead with removal and it turns out to be benign, I would have removed part of an extremely important gland on the precursor of ‘just incase’. By jumping to make this decision which the ENT lightly pushed for, without first trying anything else to shrink or aid my body in doing the job it is designed to do, I could live with regret for the rest of my life.

One- discovering the nodule

Early November we were driving a friend home and I happened to brush my neck with my hand- to the right of my trachea, it felt like I had a small swollen lump. I wasn’t sure if I had any lymph nodes located here, they usually swell up on the side of my neck when I get sick, so I panicked a little. Since it was so late in the evening and a weekend, and the walk-in was closed, we decided to get it checked out the next day. I don’t have an actual Doctor in Peterborough so I got paired up with a very thin, cute and rapidly blinking womyn who eased my hypochondriac mind by assuring me I did not have a tumour; it was a thyroglossal duct cyst- neither harmful nor anything to worry about. Still, to put my mind at rest she booked me for an ultra sound to confirm and then would forward it to an ENT specialist to discuss with me what this cyst was and how I could manage it, if it ever did swell up like they sometimes do.
A week later I had the ultrasound done, they couldn’t tell me what it looked like or how big it was, or even carry on a conversation- so impersonal considering they were smearing jelly all over my neck haha. The outcome of the sonar test was then sent to the specialist and the time frame between then and when they got back to me would be based upon what was seen- so needless to say I was a little bit nervous when I got a call for a follow up appointment only a couple days later.
The ear, nose and throat specialist was pretty nice. His intense eye locking stares, as he revealed to me what is going on inside my neck, sort of made me a little uneasy but overall he was genuine in taking the time to explain everything. It turned out that my previous diagnosis wasn’t correct; I didn’t have a thyroglossal duct cyst, but a thyroid nodule about 2.1cm in diameter on the bottom portion of the right of my little butterfly shaped gland. A tumour.
He explained that nodules are very common, something like only 3-5% turn out to be cancerous and the rest are benign that don’t end up causing any problems. As soon as I heard the word cancer though, whatever the statistics, I got this sick feeling and I couldn’t help but release my sudden fear through tears. I felt ridiculous because he was just explaining the possibilities, but hearing even the slightest chance I could have cancer made me absolutely numb. He went on to let me in on some more statistics and standard medical facts: “thyroid cancer is the best you can have”  “most people who receive treatment for thyroid cancer survive the next 20 year period” “it is most likely to be cancerous in females” etc. It didn’t really help all that much. The ENT also explained that if it turned out to be malignant (or even benign that could cause issues), I would require half of my thyroid to be surgically removed and a total thyroidectomy if it had spread to the other side.
He finished up and told me that someone would be in contact as soon as possible with an appointment for a fine needle aspiration biopsy. In short, someone was going to attack my neck with a needle guided by ultra sound to obtain samples that would then be sent to a lab for assessment, and hopefully through these samples we would be able to pinpoint what sort of funky characteristics the cells inside the lump were carrying out.
When Adam and I left the appointment, I called my parents who were anxiously waiting at home, and burst out in tears. I was so terrified that I had a tumour that could be cancer, but I think even more in fear of removing a vital part of my body that is crucial to all chemical and hormonal reactions unique to my being (partial removal may balance out, but complete will require ingestion of synthetic hormones for the rest of my life). My mum did a great job at calming me down while I sobbed in the car until I gained enough composure to start working the first day of our next painting job- just in case you are wondering, no matter how many times you try to redirect your thoughts and slip into positivity, your mind will betray you if you are staring at a wall all day, painting.
It took couple weeks for the biopsy to be booked, so I took this time to do crazy, scatterbrain research on statistics and types of thyroid cancer, and causes of nodes, treatments, whatever I could find. My intuition kept leaning me towards the outcome I feared and the direction of my research sort of reflected this at first. I have been very worried and paranoid about the implications that the Fukushima nuclear meltdown has had/will have on the rest of the planet since the tsunami hit, and I always had a place for fear of cancer in my mind, when we travelled to BC two summers ago. British Columbia smiles at Japan across the Pacific Ocean and back living in Ontario, whatever we don’t get locally, is imported from California which is also on the shores of the Ocean- basic environmental science will tell you that that shit doesn’t stay put, everything cycles.